CHILDBIRTH ISN'T THE MIRACLE - SURVIVING PARENTHOOD IS

Sunday 13 February 2011

Cause & Effect

So I haven't blogged for a couple of weeks because I've actually been dealing with my life i.e. living in reality instead of hiding behind my computer screen. Can you believe it, even though it's pretty surreal, but I have been being a Good Mum. My children have needed some attention and that's what I have been doing with my time. I think it's like a Leap Year - doesn't happen very often but when it does it's quite nice to have something different occur.

This good behaviour on my part though, has been tainted with the usual haphazards of my daily life. Good Mum Behaviour comes at a cost - when something good happens, something bad has to happen to balance out the Parenting Cosmic Universe or something like that. Parenting Karma, that's it. It's as simple as cause and effect. Everytime I put out some Good Parenting vibes, my universe has to balance itself out by dealing me some crap.

For example, whilst I have been giving my children love and attention, the following has happened:

1) I have been playing nicely with The Toddler and not moaning about being bored.
COUNTERBALANCE:
The Toddler was left on his own in the shower for about ten seconds in which time he managed to get out with the sprayer still in his hand which caused the bathroom to flood which caused a major waterfall to come through the kitchen ceiling.

2) I have been washing up, keeping the house tidy and preparing dinner for The Husband. Being a Good Wife as well as a Good Mother.
COUNTERBALANCE:
The Husband and I had a full on row which peaked when I kicked him out of the house for an hour. My brain was obviously scrabbled for that split second otherwise I would have stormed out. You see by kicking him out left me with three cabin fevered children and a woundup dog to deal with.

3) The Tomboy has been allowed to wear what the hell she wants even though it makes me look like I abuse her.
COUNTERBALANCE:
I did not foresee that if she wears an all-in-one swimsuit under her school uniform that she is likely to piss herself in the playground.

4) To cut down on The Tweenager's moodiness, I let him use my computer.
COUNTERBALANCE: The Tweenager has become so addicted to Bin Weevils that it's all he can talk about and do, so that his mood swings are even worse when he is not sat in front of the screen.

You see? It's a lose-lose situation. Through trying to improve myself and make my family happy, I end up miserable because of the bad I have to deal with in return. So my theory is this - you are much better being a Crap Parent avoiding situations and not dealing with your children because the effect will all be good.

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